Aug 22, 2012

New Park Ranger

When the doctor told me about my incredibly low vitamin D, he asked if my family was from Transylvania? When I replied that we were, he apologized for his faux pas and we determined that my condition was caused by blogging. I decided to get some sun by walking in our parks, combining my vitamin deficiency with my civil annoyance. Because I have never owned shorts or sneakers, the first week saw me in jeans, shirt and shoes. I went to a local discount store and purchased shorts and a tank top. Fashion now dictates that men's shorts go below the knees. Because I have short legs, the shorts went halfway to my ankles, looking like knickers from 1920. I took them to be shortened, but apparently mismarked them. Besides at the Pride Festival this past Sunday, no man wears shorts that short. I also made a mistake with the tank top. Apparently, I had inadvertently crossed over into the women's section at the discount store. When I washed the shirt, I saw the flowers on the label. Anyway, I am getting plenty of sun and investigating our parks. My first reports dealt with the No Maintenance Zone and included a letter from a dog owner, who can no longer enjoy the stream at Cedar Park. An apologist for City Hall suggested tick and insect repellant. Tony Martin replied: The no-mow zones does absolutely nothing beneficial to the creek in cedar creek park. My dog is small. Not a lab. He is only 10 inches tall and I prefer not to marinate his or my body with pesticides to repel ticks and other insects. Neither should any children be subjected to that. I, nor my best friend, have access to this once great park's best asset,the creek. You cannot even tell that a creek exists unless you cross the bridge. Please speak out about this issue,and let Mayor Pawlowski know that you the people, that pay his salary, will not stand for this nonsense to continue any longer. Mow the weeds already and restore both the view and access to this once beautiful creek/park. - Tony Martin Although I certainly do agree with Tony, currently the citizens must fight for fresh drinking water. With the private for profit Trash To Energy Plant, we have already lost the right to fresh air. Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself in my new persona as Park Ranger. More reports surely to follow.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maybe the city's new park superintendent will do something about Watershed staffers driving and destroying the grass when they easily can drive 5 inches away on the bridle path. It's disgusting.

Anonymous said...

i walk the parks to. will be looking for you. would love to run into you and have a "chat" (wink wink).

michael molovinsky said...

thanks bill, now go back to your hate blog and threaten more people.

Anonymous said...

Comrade Molovinsky,

You must be very proud to know that the City With No Limits to whom you pay your hard-earned money in taxes wants everyone to know that absolutely no cigarette tax money will be used to build Chairman Pawlowski's record-smashing Palace of Sport.

Not one penny! All cigarette tax monies generated will be used to construct the office buildings, parking decks and whatever the else is in those transformative plans and specs. But not the ice hockey rink.

The Morning Call made it a point to have a front page story informing the general citizenry of this compassionate and enlightened development.

I think you are way "over the top" with constant critism of Big Government and wish you would cease all your political agitation immediately.

Please, just "get on board" already.

Shaibu!

VIKTOR TIKHONOV

Anonymous said...

MM:please pass this on to Tony ----- a dab of flea & tic guard applied below the dogs neck between the shoulders. The amount of goo involved is perhaps half the amount of tooth paste you would use in one brushing.
This will last you dog one month.
Most Vets routinely recommend it for all dogs, even dogs who rarely go afield.
I agree that Cedar Creek is a mess in the park. The apologists for the mayor may defend the way things are there right now,but the knowledgable conservationists don't,so there is no reason to insult them.

michael molovinsky said...

@12:56, knowledgeable conservationists may be pleased to know that our weeping willow tree will now be planted in area which requires no cutting to accommodate the tree. hopefully people will join us to commemorate and protest their own pet peeve; whether it be the no mow zone, the trash to energy plant, or selling our historic water works. time and place to be announced.

Anonymous said...

I just want to go swimming in a real pool with real lifeguards somewhere reasonably close to home ... just like I used to be able to do at Fountain Park.

Exactly how hard is it to get a neighborhood swimming pool in gear with all applicable Federal regulations anyway?

UNDER-REPRESENTED INNER-CITY YOUTH IN THE CITY WITH NO SPENDIG LIMITS

Anonymous said...

Mr Ranger can you please stop the cars from speeding thru the Lehigh Parkway?
Many thanks.

monkey momma said...

Wow, couldn't you have just opted for the Vitamin D supplement? The shorts have to be a hazard to your health!

Your 1:48 comment describes a potentially cool event. I vote for hosting it at Brewworks. (Hey...I love the place.)

Thanks for the laugh today.

michael molovinsky said...

monkey momma, i was actually referring to the planting of the tree, which will take place in one of the parks.

Anonymous said...

I see the riparian buffer was cut at Cedar Beach.
Is it true the new Parks Director has been chosen and will be announced in the next day or so?

michael molovinsky said...

@5:14, what was cut was called the "grow zone". the denser bushes right along the creek were not cut, that's what they call the "riparian buffer". thus, access to the creek has not fundamentally improved. the "grow zone" is cut to prevent invasive species from taking root. i heard that the candidates were all "recreation" people, but haven't heard anything more.

Physicians Notebooks said...

Apropos low vitamin D, I applaud the article's suggestion of reasonable exposure of bare skin to sunlight as a source. Also even though not an Allentown resident, I appreciated the humor of the piece.
Dr. Edward Stim, Bronx expatriate in Tokyo Japan
http://physiciansnotebook.blogspot.com
http://adventuresofkimi.blogspot.com