Aug 23, 2012

Back To The Future

It's the year 2018 and Mayor Guridy has just received the long anticipated study from A&P Associates. Advice from Afflerbach and Pawlowski doesn't come cheap, $475,000, but as City Council President Cynthia Mota said,"Sometimes it pays to invest in the best." Some of the recommendations to revive Hamilton Street and it's ailing arena complex are nothing less than brilliant. Reilly's dormant City Center Three and Four will be conveyed to The Allentown Housing Authority, to be converted into rent subsidized housing. The Lanta Terminal will become the Park Department's long anticipated Pit Bull Center, the intercity skate and dog park. The bus transfer stops are to be placed back on Hamilton Street between 7th and 9th, creating foot traffic and enhancing a sense of security. Meter rates will be reduced, once again accepting quarters and other coins. The old Allentown Brew Pub, closed since the Arena Sports Bar opened, will be torn down to create a convenient pocket parking lot. The renovations would be implemented by the Butz Company, and as is the policy, no estimates will be provided. Guridy will make the announcement early next week, and a translation in English will be available.

adapted from a previous post


Anonymous said...

Bottled water sales up across the city. It's cheaper.

Anonymous said...

Holio is a poor excuse to represent the latino community in allentown because he should be on allentowns slumlordian hall of shame yet seems to excape the code officials. LMFAO As for the new motto and her bobing head one has got to wonder is jennet on the kings hit list for stepping up about the water and sewer sale/lease?

Allentowns corrupt administation organization is as thick as theives with all the federal stimulus money going around?

Anonymous said...

The Rubber Stamp Council of Apparatchiks (an all Democratic body of bureaucrats, as is traditional in the City With No Spending Limits) passes a resolution praising the lengthy jail sentence recently given to former dissident writer Michael Molovinsky.

Molovinsky, as could be expected, ran afoul of Governor Ed Pawlowski's long-awaited "Fairness Doctrine" shortly after the sweeping law was enacted. The disgraced dissident was formally convicted of "gross political agitation, conspiracy to incite counter-revolution and blogging without a government permit". That and a few other charges revolving around heinous crimes against humanity.

"It's good to know that a dangerous and ruthless criminal like Molovinsky got twice as much prison time as Jerry Sandusky," Mota related. "It's rather unfortunate that notorious IronPigPen character got away, though."

(The aggrivating IPP, after a brazen smash and grab operation which left the Phantoms' Allentown ticket office effectively looted of all cash and valueable credit card information, was barely able to sneak across the unguarded border with Mexico but proceeded to make his way to east Germany on the strength of a phony passport provided by Republicans)


Anonymous said...

It is the year 2018 :

History-making Mayor Cynthia Mota (first female, first Latino chief executive in the City With No Spending Limits) announces the latest compassionate Government Program designed to help lift the miserable attendance figures of the Allentown Phantoms at the most luxurious minor league hockey arena ever built.

(the Brooks Brothers, unable to shake the stigma and sell tickets in significant numbers after having received so much Government Welfare for "their" hockey rink, offloaded the failing AHL franchise to the Allentown Neighborhood Improvement Zone Development Authority a few years earlier)

The ground-breaking "SHARE THE WEALTH FROM THE WEST END" program is specifically designed to allow underprivilidged families in Allentown the wonderful opportunity to also enjoy ice hockey games at the spectacular Palace of Sport (which finally checked in at $ 183.7 million dollars after construction cost overruns --- mostly due to the delays caused by the obstructionist lawsuits brought forth then dropped by the local suburban governments).

"It's about time the Rich were forced to pay their fair share," Mota boasts with the announcement of the tranformative program, which arbitrarily and specifically confiscates money and property in the West End Redistribution Zone to purchase ice hockey tickets for deserving families and their economically-oppressed children.


Anonymous said...

Yep, and as all this was going on code officials allow blight to overun allentowns historical areas. While the allentown enginerring department calaborates with keystone property management to make sure to find some unsitely ballon frammed rowhomes to secure more money for allentowns Big Brown Hole.This all to cover one anothers a$$ when the puck drops.
There is also life on mars as you showed us MM

Anonymous said...

Some of the officials making these decisions will be pleading for icewater were they all will end up.
Were I am going icewater will be in abundance!
There is no one writing the truth about the actions of the town bully king for fear for the reprecusions from officials that could well become life threatining.