When the doctor told me about my incredibly low vitamin D, he asked if my family was from Transylvania? When I replied that we were, he apologized for his faux pas and we determined that my condition was caused by blogging. I decided to get some sun by walking in our parks, combining my vitamin deficiency with my civil annoyance. Because I have never owned shorts or sneakers, the first week saw me in jeans, shirt and shoes. I went to a local discount store and purchased shorts and a tank top. Fashion now dictates that men's shorts go below the knees. Because I have short legs, the shorts went halfway to my ankles, looking like knickers from 1920. I took them to be shortened, but apparently mismarked them. Besides at the Pride Festival this past Sunday, no man wears shorts that short. I also made a mistake with the tank top. Apparently, I had inadvertently crossed over into the women's section at the discount store. When I washed the shirt, I saw the flowers on the label. Anyway, I am getting plenty of sun and investigating our parks. My first reports dealt with the No Maintenance Zone and included a letter from a dog owner, who can no longer enjoy the stream at Cedar Park. An apologist for City Hall suggested tick and insect repellant. Tony Martin replied: The no-mow zones does absolutely nothing beneficial to the creek in cedar creek park. My dog is small. Not a lab. He is only 10 inches tall and I prefer not to marinate his or my body with pesticides to repel ticks and other insects. Neither should any children be subjected to that. I, nor my best friend, have access to this once great park's best asset,the creek. You cannot even tell that a creek exists unless you cross the bridge. Please speak out about this issue,and let Mayor Pawlowski know that you the people, that pay his salary, will not stand for this nonsense to continue any longer. Mow the weeds already and restore both the view and access to this once beautiful creek/park. - Tony Martin Although I certainly do agree with Tony, currently the citizens must fight for fresh drinking water. With the private for profit Trash To Energy Plant, we have already lost the right to fresh air. Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself in my new persona as Park Ranger. More reports surely to follow.