Dec 28, 2008

Urban Safari


Exclusive to molovinskyonallentown; this blogger has learned that along with the golf course concession, the Allentown BrewWorks has received the first franchise to conduct urban safari's in Allentown. The evening excursions will begin and end from the safety of the municipal golf course parking lot, in the deep west end. Although still in the planning stages, sites on the tour will include 9th and Chew, gunfire epicenter of the new Allentown, and a drive-by of Trinkles Cafe. Within the safety of the armored Hummer, guests will visit an actual forensic site, and watch police officers search for shell casings. The guides will tastefully point out probable ladies of the night and merchants of recreational pharmaceuticals. The tour will include stopping in front of the home of an urban pioneer, where actual members of OAPA will wave from behind their windows. With special permission from Lanta, the excursion will drive through the bus yard, showing real passengers waiting on cold steel benches, eating stale donuts. For a VIP tour, actually driven by Mayor Pawlowski himself, contact the special events coordinator at Allentown City Hall or the Allentown BrewWorks. Jarrett Renshaw of The Morning Call did not contribute to this story.

14 comments:

Chris Casey said...

I thought it was funny. But you should include a stop at the police academy to let participants try on body armor and fire Glocks.

atown-liker said...

I certainly hope that Hummer is moved every 72 hours as per city ordinance.

gsbrace said...

personally, I sit on my steps at night. Until the police chased me in on Saturday night. Turns out my house was inside the crime scene tape.

Do me a favor, though, and leave OAPA out of this until you talk to us about the work we are actually doing. I think it's only fair.

michael molovinsky said...

geoff, please understand i was friends with the people who started OAPA. My old house in West Park was the one used on the photo placard advocating for that historic district; likewise i owned several historically maintained buildings in old allentown. i can assure you this blog will not adversely affect the success of your organization, or allentown.

michael molovinsky said...

geoff, in all due respect, if your house is inside yellow tape, perhaps for your own sake and investment, you should give more weight to alternative opinions, such as from myself.

gsbrace said...

MM, I look at my decision to buy where I did as a moral obligation that I have taken on, not a cold-hearted investment (though I am making substantial improvements on the property). You will never hear me mask reality (believe me, I know the crime rate in Old Allentown, blighted property information, foreclosure rate, property values and other measurements to guage the health of a community). What I ask is that you refrain from talking about the organization until you have met with us to talk about the improvements we are making, a courtesy you have extended to people like Peter Lewnes in the past (not a slight on Peter).

I deal with the facts of community vitality and the proven strategies to strengthen community assets. If you want to talk about alternative opinions or strategies, please feel free to approach us as we do our work. Until then, please leave us out of stories that have nothing to do with Old Allentown (like this one or your gripes with political leaders). I think this is a fair request. If I was trashing landlords and you made a similar request after I mentioned your name, I would be more than willing to cooperate in that hypotetical instance. I will point out that you offered no opinions in this story about how we can better implement our strategies. You just took a poke at urban pioneers (a term I hate, not b/c of the term but b/c of the smugness those who use the word as a strategy overlook) and suggested that OAPA members will simply look out their windows.

For the record, your efforts at historic maintenance is appreciated and helps us to further our mission of historic preservation. As you might guess from my comments, OAPA has taken on more than historic preservation activites. Community revitalization has become our calling.

All best.

michael molovinsky said...

gsb, allentown is a better place because of OAPA, but to refrain from mentioning that organization, or any organization, is a slippery slope from my view of reality. comparing mentioning OAPA and a particular landlord by name is not comparable. i didn't see anybody from your organization protesting against the "landlord hall of shame", which is one step away from witch burning in salem. i would have called that landlord (in the 300 block of 9th) and worked with him. you made an inference that perhaps your calling is more from a moral perspective than mine, which is cold investments? i don't accept that, my concern is quality of life, however that and investment value go hand and hand. I don't believe the strategies of flashing blue lights and several buildings being bought and de-converted will change the dynamics of your neighborhood. my "gripe" with political leaders is that nothing has been done to really improve the neighborhoods. what you think as positives are really negatives; all those new loft apartments are increasing the inventory, which should be reduced. i'm not impressed with who the first tenant is, my concern is who will be the fourth one?

Chris Casey said...

Does the hummer have Armor Plating?
That doesn't look like it is Military spec!

IRONPIGPEN said...

Your tour does not include the requisite visit to Obama campaign headquarters or transition headquarters or whatever headquarters he thinks he needs next week. And the week after that.

Allentown Resident said...

Please forgive my ignorance, but what is "OAPA"?
By the way, funny post.

michael molovinsky said...

OAPA stands for Old Allentown Preservation Association, they have a website and also a blog. In truth, they have evolved into an constituency of the administration, although i'm sure this comment will further annoy some of their members, and they will proclaim their non-political position. Most are democrats, most are pawlowski supporters, and some are bureaucrats. never the less, i give them enormous credit for everything they do, and allentown is much better off because of their investments, both of their money and time. I have more affinity for people such as 8th Ward Neighborhood Group, less elite, they are real people who have always lived in center city and don't think they deserve a trophy or grant because of it.

Anonymous said...

So at 11th & Hamilton if you are stopped at the light headed out of town look up at the apartment / condo on the 4th floor (south west corner) and see what you can see.

All drapes open. Do they have any? The windows are impeccably clean so everyone can see multiple flat screen HD TVs blazing away throughout the night and all the other trinkets and treasures contained within.

I guess it is improvement. It reeks of the up and coming and look at me isms.

My advice though is simple - "If you do not want to be shot at do not hold yourself out as a target."

In other words in this residents jubilation to show off his / her / their "Casa" they may unintentionally be advertising for one of our notorious urban thugs to come a calling

Anonymous said...

Sorry - that is 13th & Hamilton.

Anonymous said...

Funny, I have been planning to run a tour bus for inner-city residents.
They would all like to see how the "other half" lives.
The tour will showcase the homes of our city officials, business moguls and various other Indian chiefs.
This service will most certainly provide hope and encouragement for all the folks wishing to attain wealth and station.
Oh, yea, and parking won't be a problem in YOUR neighborhood.